My Season of Receiving

For all of us who are unlucky enough to be born close Christmas/Hannukah (thanks, Mom and Dad), you know that you have to think long and hard about what you ask for because there's no short wait between present times.  I mean, let's say your birthday is in May -  well if you decide that new blender you got to Christmas isn't so cool, you only have a few months to wait until you get another cool gift.  But us December kids, have to wait the whole 12 months and then try to come up with 2 holidays worth of gifts that will be cool all year round!

Don't judge - It's not as easy at is seems.

As December draws near, I'm starting to create my annual present power point that will be distributed to my loving family so they can pick out some cool things that I will enjoy.  When I was younger the list would easily top 50 slides, but I find the older and more independent I get, the list is dwindling and half of it is gift cards for Lowe's or something practical like furniture (ack! My younger self is cringing at this thought).  So I got to thinking, what is something practical and yet not boring and grown up? A pole.




Yes, that's right.  I am requesting a pole this year.  Here's my reasoning:

 

• It's a fantastic workout
• Promotes muscle toning
• You can be the only person on the block with their own pole
• It's a conversation starter
• And the obvious: the current man-friend will love it

So if all else fails and Santa doesn't come through with my iPad, side-board table, or the latest KA stand-mixer attachment, I totally want the pole.

Why Do People Only Want What They Can't Have?

 It can be a $900 pair of Christian Louboutin pumps on a Payless budget, cannoli when you're dieting, or the super hot guy that turned you down after a few months of fun (rude), but either way, we always seem to want things that we can't have.

(side note - I like to think of the pumps as the winner in this situation because 1) they're a great investment 2) they provide a leg work out after you eat cannoli and 3) they may help with getting attention from the aforementioned guy).

Back to the question at hand.  Women go to incredible lengths to regain the attention of a guy who deep down we know isn't even worth our time.  We can turn down numerous guys (after they buy us drinks, of course) but we can never seem to forget the one guy who turned us down.  We show up places where we think/know he'll be and then act surprised to see him when he says 'hi'.  We stalk on facebook to see who's posting on his wall, or watch his tweets for any shred of evidence that he's still into us.  And for what?  So we can eventually see him in pictures with a new girl or be down on ourselves because said new girl is super pretty? -  It's not even that she's all that pretty but the drinks we previously accepted from other guys, make her prettier and us jealous.

After we've had enough of torturing ourselves, we of course head home for the night while fighting back a few tears because we've convinced ourselves that tonight was an epic fail.  Sure we got attention from lots of other guys, including Mr. Wrong's BFF, but we didn't get the attention from HIM.

When I was in college, my sorority had a great cheer that I think is perfect for this situation -

Here's to the men that we love,
Here's to the men that love us,
But the men that we love,
Will never love us,
So fuck all the men and here's to us.

So ladies - next time you feel like pulling up his facebook page or showing up places you know he'll be - DON'T!  Call up your best girl friends, get dressed up, and go have a night on the town.  And if he somehow shows up where you are (not the other way around - don't be a stalker) at least you look hot, and you're having fun with the greatest support system there is.  Besides - If you really want to have something you can't have, opt for the cannoli and work it off tomorrow.  It'll be way worth it!

xoxo - Betty